The Thing I Like About …

Strippers vs. Werewolves:  the part where she corrects the blood-graffiti before cleaning it.

You may not be aware, but strippers are our first line of defense against werewolves and their brutish agenda.  They pay a price, though; werewolves attack them – in their very own club – and take a lot of lives.  They also take blood from one of their victims and write “YOUR NEXT” on the wall behind her sad, slumped-over corpse.  Not knowing where else to begin, the survivors start cleaning up the mess while planning their next step.

The woman wiping down the walls stops at the message “YOUR NEXT”, puts her finger in the blood, and writes an apostrophe-e:  “YOU’RE NEXT” … then she obliterates the whole thing with her cleaning rag.

Of course, it’s funny.

But it’s also the best possible response to their enemies: we are so unafraid of you that we will correct your grammar and then obliterate you entirely.  We will make a world so normal – i.e., without you in it – that grammar will matter more than anything you’ll ever do.  We’ll fix everything you do wrong and then we’ll remove you from the earth as though you had never been here … and we’ll do it with a sense of humour, because that’s how we roll.

I don’t personally believe in werewolves, but I do believe in bad guys.  I believe in fighting bad guys.  I believe in hope for a world without bad guys.  As a grammarian, I believe in proper spelling and punctuation … but more importantly, I believe that, if we keep our wits about us, the bad guys can’t really take anything from us.

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